I've not done too well so far with keeping current on my blog. I'm by nature a 'real book' person. By that I mean, I never really got on with electronic organizers, I'd rather write in a filofax. I don't really enjoy reading books on-line or on any 'device' - I'd rather have strokable, turnable pages, that I can mark with real pens and I never really took to the blog, I'd rather journal and glue my ticket stubs somewhere, so I've had a real challenge even trying to remember sometimes I have a blog! For anyone that is patient enough to actually follow me, I'm sorry.
Anyway, now I do finally have something to write about. Is that a good thing? I guess we can only answer that with the wisdom of being able to see the 'big picture' or with hindsight.
I found out on Thursday 6th October that I have Breast Cancer!
Now anybody that knows me, would tell you that I'm a born pessimist and a bit of a panicer, so you'd imagine that I'd be beside myself with worry or grief or something? So far that hasn't happened. Maybe this is so big my head has shut down? I really don't know? I feel sometimes like a bit of a fraud when I say "I have cancer". I think: "That's a bit dramatic" like I just made it up or something, then I have to remind myself it actually IS true!
I have an MRI scan on Thursday this week, to determine how big and deep this thing is and also whether or not it's spread. I'm guessing once I find out and then have surgery of some kind and start treatment, somewhere along the line the reality of this nightmare may sink in? For today it hasn't yet. I'm not sure whether that's a good thing or not?
Anyway, as you see, my blog has taken one of those unexpected crossroads in life and I guess this will be focused a lot on my journey with cancer.
Just for Today, Thankfully I still feel well and I've made a journal (a real strokable one!) to art and write and scream, cry, celebrate - whatever, the days ahead. I'm planning to be sharing that journey, as much as I'm able, here also.
Hang around, say Hi, share the ride, pick me up when I fall, I'd value the friendship. Let's not face this world alone.
And so begins - My journey with Cancer........